Amber is the Color of Your Energy

and all the roads we have to walk are winding
and all the lights that lead us there are bliding
there are many things that I would like to say to you,
but i don't know how...

I JUST ROCKED MY HISTORY EXAM! -the teacher isn't even gonna know what hit him when he reads my short answers and essays. :) 3 left!!!

But that was the hardest one and i am about to take my second hardest one. Then..

CHRISTMAS BREAK FESTIVITIES!! 

dreaming of Revelry...

mark your calendars.

january 4, 2011.

21 days until... I'M 21!!!!

BIRTHDAY!!!!

i <3 birthdays.

especially special birthdays.

like 13, 16, 18, & 21!!

i can't wait until christmas.

then new years.

then birthday celebration.

then vegas.

then the best year of my life, 2011.

don't let life just happen to you. 

xo.

*IT'S SNOWING!*

*Let it SNOW!*Let it SNOW!*Let it SNOW!!!!*

*it's snowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

I'm ready to bring on the new year. I'm a Capricorn and the planets say my 2011 year "is going to be full of change.. I'm also getting used to the intensity of it all & it's helpful that I'm realizing the futility [emptiness, pointlessness, uselessness] in holding on to people and possessions that only stunt my growth. This year my focus is information and social networking to introspection [soul-searching, reflection, examination], home and family. I'm newly single, and my romantic horoscope for 2011 says the paradox of being absolutely self-centered in order to give more to your relationships has never held more wisdom. THE PLANETARY EMPHASIS IS BRINGING YOU HOME TO SELF. It's all about greater self-awareness and not sacrificing your own needs in order to play the role of the perfect, responsible caretaker. THOSE CODEPENDENT DAYS ARE PAST." I don't like live by my horoscope, but I just am so intrigued by Astrology and the Universe. It's crazy to me. I'm from Nashville, I love living here but I'm ready to explore and travel. I'm hoping I'll be off somewhere this summer. Besides different music festivals. I wish I could live at a music festival in the summer. (My horoscope also says that "Jupiter, the beloved planet of good fortune, enters your romance sector this summer bringing love and pleasure in plenty. Expect a windfall of romantic interludes to make this a gorgeous summer to remember." I cannot compromise passion for safety. I'm the kind of person who gives my heart away too easily. Intensity, deep intimacy and a true meeting of souls are the minimum requirements for me to fall for someone. But no longer will I compromise or go for empty substitutes. I'm ready for change. I want to meet cool, chill, free-spirited, fun, crazy, awesome, amazing, beautiful people!!! 

My Interests:

Live Music, Art, Astrology, Astronomy, Smiling, Peace, the Universe, the Stars, Spirituality, the Transcendental, the Mystic. Peculiar, unique, rare people. I love sunshine, dancing in the rain, crystals, painting, good vibes and good energy. I love learning, knowledge, recycling. I love the earth, the rain, the wind, the sun, the mountains, the unknown. Talking, walking, laughing, and creating are things I enjoy.

 when mother nature gives you snow...

take walks with bright yellow umbrellas in it.

take walks at night in it.

dance in it.

have a snowball fight.

make snowmen.

play in it.

make snow angels.

a fond farewell

astrology is the ancient science of understanding what impacts the movements of the planets, stars and other heavenly constellations may have on our lives. astrologers use a complex system of planetary charts to determine the horoscopes of the 12 zodiac signs. each sign has it's own special characteristics and influences. 

This is a month perfect for fixing things in your life that are not working. This is an unlikely time to find a peaceful period to decide what you'd like to change, what to leave, and what to bring in the New Year, but it is the perfect time to do so. During most of this month, you will be in an enormously reflective mood. 

i don't care what anyone says! because horoscopes are NOT made up!! take mine today for instance,

Money matters are at the heart of the day- which isn't exactly romantic but does lead to some interesting experiences. You may find that you're better off than you had thought at first! 

i wasn't supposed to work today and i ended up working 10-3 then decided to work open-close to opt out of working Saturday. woo! and a super sexy guy came in to tan today soooo interesting experience? ha!

i don't like sleeping solo every night, i'm lonely! somebody come cuddle with me!!

soo, nothing too new in my life lately. i'm so pissed that EVERYONE (except the cool mtsu kids) has exams this week and mine are next week booo! i'm usually always the first to go on break and the last to go back to school. ohhh well! 26 daysss until my BIRTHDAY!

i can't think of a title.

"you don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around- and why his parents will always wave back." -william d tammeus

human nature, the concept that there is a set of inherent distinguishing characteristics, including the ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that all humans tend to have. 

Socrates supposedly studied the question of how person should best live, but he didn't leave any written documents. he was a rationalist and believed that the best life involved reasoning. karl marx, misunderstood dude, denied that there was any human nature and said that human beings are a blank state, whose character will depend solely upon their socialization and experience. natural science.. is where i draw the line on even trying to being to understand. Darwin and Sigmund Freud bore me because they remind me of skank cecilia and nuns. 

i'm no scientist or genius in science, i'm actually really, really bad at understanding any science, however, the concept of human nature, astrology, the solar system, geology, the universe.. all intrigue me!

me & elena's painting from last night.

i love it. (it's for sale!!!)

i'm in love with the world
through the eyes of a [boy]
<3












if i had to live my life over, i would start barefoot in the spring & stay that way until later in the fall. i would dance more often, laugh more often, hug more often, smile more often, forgive more often, give more, love more often... i would do things less often as well: hurt others, judge others, be less spiteful. i wouldn't change anything in my life now, not my past or my present. i have no regrets & no remorse. i have many lessons learned, and i am thankful for that. i love the people in my life, and i can't wait to meet new ones. <3

SPINNNNING OUT OF CONTROL

 

weird...

another horoscope i found:

making contact with new people and escaping from routine come high on your agenda. but don't rush into situations, or make new commitments overnight. in your present mood, you could also overlook what someone you already know has got to offer. what you want may well lie close at hand. if you pay attention to the details, you can also side step a potential problem at work. 

WEIIRRRDDD!!!

i wear a smile on my face.

good news comes in, though it may take a few hours to reach you.
still, your energy is so good that you don't really care much-
and you should find that people are willing to cut you some slack. 

well, if that's true then today should be a good day. it was very hard to get up this morning, i missed my first class but it's okay because today is the last day of classes (i missed the review though) soo i'm very happy about that. 

it's very, very cold outside.

i'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl

 who's still around the morning after.

we broke up a month ago, and i grew up- but didn't know

 i'd be around the morning after.

--- a happy day, and then you'll pay

 and feel like shit the morning after.

but now i feel changed around and instead of falling down

 i'm standing up the morning after.

situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later

i could be another fool or an exception to the rule

 you can tell me the morning after... -elliott smith 

[daily slam]:

you have potential to turn something sour into something sweet today.

chances are, you'll probably mess up the proverbial ingredients and get the recipe totally wrong.

that wouldn't surprise anyone, considering you're basically illiterate. 

oucchhh....

i can't wait to be done with marketing at 4:05 because then i'll be done with classes for the semester! HOLLA! i can't wait to get christmas break started. christmas break is always the best way to end the year and it's always the best couple weeks because it's full of happiness and cheers! and 27 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAYYY!! i need to figure out my nye plans and my BIRTHDAY plans. i need to start planning my vegas trip with my mom and i also thought of an amazing idea i want to do last night driving by opryland... i wanna rent a party bus or limo and drive around and look @ christmas lights all over nashville. starting or ending with opryland. ahh i think that would be so much fun. i'm so excited to go home and be warm, it's way too cold outside!! but first i have to go help paint the hot spot float for the christmas parade..boooo...

there comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama & the people who create it. & surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad & focus solely on the good. after all, life is too short to be anything but happy.

meaning of life:

1. be happy :)

2. help others be happy :) 

check!

check!

<3. 

close your eyes & dream.

tonight you arrested my mind, when you came to my defense.

with a knife in the shape of your mouth, in the form of your body,

with the wrath of a god, oh you stood by me, belief.

do you believe in magic?

escape.

see no evil. speak no evil. hear no evil.

out with the old.

& in with the new.

ahhh this past weekend was SO. MUCH. FUN!!! 

Friday: Vibesquad @ 12th & Porter and then some amazing friends came over and we painted all night and just chilled and enjoyed living.

SATURDAY!!!: ZOOGMA @ Exit/In. soooo goooood. then all the boys came over and brought a circus :) our house always gets out of control, but there had to be like 30 people there. a bit overwhelming, but it was so much fun.

i love surrounding myself with loving people who are niceee. 

i had the BEST weekend! i just love the people that have recently come in my life. i feel like it was perfect timing. & i am so happy that Elena taught me that you can teach yourself how to paint if your just creative and take the time to express yourself. very special shout out to lauren, punkin, elena, alex. i love you beautiful people and you guys make my life complete.  you don't judge me or get mad at me or hate me! i love youuuu.

my dear, i went for the steal, maybe it was rushed.
oh my crush, i've got a crush.
i suppose that i could hold it in, but you excite my every cell.
sources say that senses are your friends.
my senses say that i should tell you that i'm not ashamed,
you might just feel the same, but you have to try it-
if you're ever really gonna know...

we've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant.

you can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself.

You've got to keep watering it.

You've got to really look after it and nurture it.

-John Lennon

Comic-Con International: San Diego

July 21-24, 2011

I'm so going to find me a sexy nerd who is super sweet & super smart. 

WHO IS COMING WITH ME?!! :) 

my life is so colorful.  

life has a funny way..

of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay & everything's going right.
& life has a funny way of helping you out 
when you think everything's gone wrong & everything blows up in your face. 

HOROSCOPE: You often don't care much what others think about you -- as long as they're more or less accurate. Today, though, you're much more thoughtful about your reputation, which is improving all day long. 

hm.. 

very true. except lately i've cared a lot about what other people think because it's affected my relationships in my life. but i'm over it now and i'm ready to move on- it's no longer effecting my life negatively because i'm stronger than that and i've learned that before, i just fell off the path for a second but i'm back on and hopefully won't slip up again :) 

CAN'T WAIT FOR VIBESQUAD TONIGHT!!!! 

yay. weekend! 

your hypnotic on my heart

i am so happy because i just got a bunch of new paints and art supplies! i can't wait to get out of class and go home and start painting! i worked on some last night and i finished a big one that i've been working on since we lived on ashwood and a little one i started last night and a medium one i started last night! 

>>my paintings.

these are my first paintings ever so i am very proud of them! 

i can't wait to start my new projects then decide which ones are going home to my beautiful friends as christmas presents!

so this is my life. 

and i want you to know that i am both happy and sad 

and i am still trying to figure out how that could be.

a friend is someone who knows the song in  your heart. and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Girl, you treat me bad. & I know why- 

I've seen you runnin' around with another guy 

and you think if you hurt me that I'll go away. 

But I've made up my mind that I'm here to stay.

 

love youuu.

what I do today is important because..

I am exchanging a day of my life for it.

& I'm so glad I've spent my morning with little mr. jackson! and later I get to spend my afternoon with annabelle and elliot! I love little kids because they have high spirits, they love to laugh, everything is simple, they have huge imaginations, they think about everything so literally, they grow and change, they pick up on your habits and everything you do and/or say. I'm so glad I am a nanny :)

 

 IT'S DECEMBER!!!

which means it's almost Christmas!

Then New Years!

THEN A BRAND NEW YEAR BEGINS!

Then... MY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

people born in January are usually mentally strong, but they generally aren't understood by other people. Capricorn is a pushy Cardinal Earth sign ruled by Saturn, the planet of adversity (difficulties, misfortune). Capricorns will grind anything that gets in their way down to dust. Time is definitely on their side. It gets easier for them as they get older. when they age, they cheer up too. 

these people have non-typical ideas of love, duty, and social position, and that is why they are often considered to be "odd," and do not fit in easily with their neighbors or colleagues. Their basic concern is for security and to understand the feelings and needs of other people. 

Capricorns have a great sense of pride and will not forgive anyone who belittles or slights them. although they may seem to be cold, they have warm hearts towards suffering. They give away very much.

ASTROLOGY IS SO CRAZY!! it's always so right on.

______________________________________________

Everyday you wake up, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive- to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to forgive and to love. I'm so grateful to be alive and that I have a lot of good things going for me! think about it like.. everybody feels the way you do at one point in their life, humans are unpredictable, letting go is better than maintaining control, usually nothing good can come from overthinking things, keep the good people closest, enjoy the simple things, be kind. 

:setouq

the more anger you carry in your heart over the past,

the harder it becomes for you to love in the present.

 

life isn't about finding yourself, 

it's about creating yourself. 

don't forget, enjoy the ride.

 <3 </3

I love you much most beautiful darling

More than anyone on the earth

& I like you better than

everything in the sky.

What happened? Why didn't it work out?

What always happens... Life. 

-500 Days of Summer

I can go out every night of the week,

I can go home with anybody I meet.

But it's just a temporary high

'Cause when I close my eyes, 

I'm somewhere with you. 

(not very relevant to my life:but I like the quote)

My life be like...

 my life be so marvelous lately. 

I be so happy these days.

 not that I wasn't happy before, 

I'm having the time of my life.

 I'm doing what I want, when I want.

I have no regrets,

 I have many lessons learned.

    i wish i could afford you right now.

 

..::SECRETS::SECRETS::SECRETS::..

i love how i can write down whatever i want and i have absolutely no idea who reads it. i don't know if anyone reads it, but if you are reading this right now and we aren't good friends, and you read something that you misinterpret and then spread it around, it's gonna come back to me and i will address you to your face and if it continues, i will keep pushing it til it stops. this doesn't mean to sound threatening, but lately people have been talking smack since there's been personal things going on in my life. and it's been getting around, spreading viciously and rapidly. little birdies whispering secrets are everywhere.. it's hard to trust people, especially the people who have circled my life the past couple of years. i have branched out, spread my wings and i am soaring successfully. & if people are talking shit, then they obviously have an interest in my life, and if you don't have an interest in my life and you just like talking shit and spreading rumors, then you need to spend some time reflecting on the important things in life and spend more time on yourself. my life is my life. what i do shouldn't bother you if it's not hurting you. it just phased me today because someone said "i just read your blog!" and i never even think about who lays their eyes on my freely expressed thoughts written down. i just feel like something needed to be said. i'm sick of the one person in my life who i have loved for more than 2 years is being hurt unnecessarily because people can't keep their mouth shut. JUST SHUT UP, STOP TALKING. it has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. at this point in my life, i am starting to realize who my real friends are and what a real friend actually entails. so if you are talking shit, just please stop. it's not making my life miserable, it's just annoying that i have to deal with this "he said she said" when i haven't talked to a single one of you about my personal life since anything went down. so how would you know anything about anything.. so focus your time on something good, maybe like the high suicide rate during the holidays, or the homeless people who are freezing and wet today. maybe just do something nice for someone else. make someone else's day. 

my choice is what i choose to do,

and if i'm causing no harm it shouldn't bother you.

your choice is who you choose to be, 

and if your causing so harm then your alright with me.

herb the gift, from the earth.

and what's from the earth is of the

greatest worth.

so before you knock it, 

try it first.

and you'll see it's a blessing and it's not a curse.

but if that's how it's gonna be,

i'm not afraid :)