don't forget, enjoy the ride.

 <3 </3

I love you much most beautiful darling

More than anyone on the earth

& I like you better than

everything in the sky.

What happened? Why didn't it work out?

What always happens... Life. 

-500 Days of Summer

I can go out every night of the week,

I can go home with anybody I meet.

But it's just a temporary high

'Cause when I close my eyes, 

I'm somewhere with you. 

(not very relevant to my life:but I like the quote)

My life be like...

 my life be so marvelous lately. 

I be so happy these days.

 not that I wasn't happy before, 

I'm having the time of my life.

 I'm doing what I want, when I want.

I have no regrets,

 I have many lessons learned.

    i wish i could afford you right now.

 

..::SECRETS::SECRETS::SECRETS::..

i love how i can write down whatever i want and i have absolutely no idea who reads it. i don't know if anyone reads it, but if you are reading this right now and we aren't good friends, and you read something that you misinterpret and then spread it around, it's gonna come back to me and i will address you to your face and if it continues, i will keep pushing it til it stops. this doesn't mean to sound threatening, but lately people have been talking smack since there's been personal things going on in my life. and it's been getting around, spreading viciously and rapidly. little birdies whispering secrets are everywhere.. it's hard to trust people, especially the people who have circled my life the past couple of years. i have branched out, spread my wings and i am soaring successfully. & if people are talking shit, then they obviously have an interest in my life, and if you don't have an interest in my life and you just like talking shit and spreading rumors, then you need to spend some time reflecting on the important things in life and spend more time on yourself. my life is my life. what i do shouldn't bother you if it's not hurting you. it just phased me today because someone said "i just read your blog!" and i never even think about who lays their eyes on my freely expressed thoughts written down. i just feel like something needed to be said. i'm sick of the one person in my life who i have loved for more than 2 years is being hurt unnecessarily because people can't keep their mouth shut. JUST SHUT UP, STOP TALKING. it has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. at this point in my life, i am starting to realize who my real friends are and what a real friend actually entails. so if you are talking shit, just please stop. it's not making my life miserable, it's just annoying that i have to deal with this "he said she said" when i haven't talked to a single one of you about my personal life since anything went down. so how would you know anything about anything.. so focus your time on something good, maybe like the high suicide rate during the holidays, or the homeless people who are freezing and wet today. maybe just do something nice for someone else. make someone else's day. 

my choice is what i choose to do,

and if i'm causing no harm it shouldn't bother you.

your choice is who you choose to be, 

and if your causing so harm then your alright with me.

herb the gift, from the earth.

and what's from the earth is of the

greatest worth.

so before you knock it, 

try it first.

and you'll see it's a blessing and it's not a curse.

but if that's how it's gonna be,

i'm not afraid :) 

thinking big time.

Dear _____,

  I am so grateful for the past couple of weeks. I have had time to think about my future and start making plans for this summer. I've always stayed in Nashville, besides the random months I "lived" in Bowling Green and Murfreesboro, my whole entire life.. I'm not complaining, because it's always been my choice. I could've gone to any college (geographically) I wanted to and I've had opportunities to study abroad and just get out of TN, but I've always wanted to stick around in case I missed something. But now I realize that I'm the one missing out of everything but not GETTING OUT and exploring. With that being said, I've decided to pack it up and move it out for a few months!!! I've been looking around websites for job opportunities and living and all that and I'm getting more and more excited. I don't want to go by myself, I don't want to get myself into something I regret, I don't want to... FUCK IT! I'll go by myself (I'd rather go with at least one person I at least KNEW-but hey!), I don't have regrets, just lessons learned... I am ready to do this! I want to be in either CO, UT, OR.. something like that! I HAVE to go to Wakarusa though! I can't wait to start planning and figuring out plans for this summer. I need to get on that and plans for VEGAS! ahh so much to do! 

TONIGHT IS EOTO/ALEXB/SCHTOMPA @ Limelight and I am sooo excited! I wish LAUREN BRANNON and PUNKIN were in town because it would be 1000000x better if they were... BUT Lacy is in town :) and there are a MILLLION people in town and a MILLLIONNN people I don't know of who are going are going I'm sure.. it will be a night in history though!

 I never said anything about THANKSGIVING! I started an "I am thankful for..." blog but I didn't get time to finish it and I wanted to start on something new :) but maybe I'll finish it one day because it doesn't have to be Thanksgiving for me to be thankful for all the beautiful things in my life!

   Michael Travis && Jason Hann

EOTO!

  

FINDING that happy PLACE!

it's been a long time coming...

 & I'm ready to spread my wings & FLY.

it's been a long time since I've been able to say this, but I am single..! It's a good thing and a bad thing. I'm looking at it as... Closing one amazing chapter in my life and embarking on new journeys and beginning a new chapter. The past weeks have flown by, I really really really cannot believe it's already November 21!!!! I just looked @ my phone to see what the date was thinking it was not even the 20th yet. I have a lot to do in the next couple of days. History Research Assignment paper (entails learning more details about the time period in which I am going to interview someone about, interview someone, and then write the outline and the paper and everything.. It's gonna be SUPER fun! I might just sleep in the boro and work on it all day tomorrow in the library, because that's the ONLY place I can get shit done! 

"Until you spread your wings, 

you'll have no idea how far you can fly."

"The higher we soar, 

the smaller we appear to those 

who cannot fly."  

every time I think about you-

I get lost in a world that doesn't exist in reality.

Lately...

I've been a lot happier.

I've become close with awesome people.

I've spent more time on myself.

I've thought a lot.

I've been painting.

I've gone to a lot of live shows.

I've gone on walks.

I've procrastinated on schoolwork more so than ever.

I've been thinking about plans for this summer.

I've been thinking a lot about my birthday.

I've become more open with others.

I've found out some people I thought were my friends really aren't.

I've figured out some of the more important things in life.

I've come more at peace with my decisions.

I have no regrets.

having no regrets, one step closer on the path to happiness. 

i will not run away. :)

 or float away. :)

or fly away.          or jump away.

just keep on smiling.

keep on living.

keep on, keep on.

peace.love.

whenever i hear something i don't want to forget, i write it down QUICK before i forget :) so just thought i'd share some things that struck me enough to write them down: 

I've never been so lost-

I've never been so happy.

i wish you could turn me onto the

idea of growing old together.

LOVE is for losers who are too afraid to be alone -Hyde

No, your thinking of kittens -Eric (That 70s Show)

[standing outside strictly dubstep @ mtsu]

I just like bassnectar because he's different.. He has a special musical element that makes him different from everyone else. -Josh

Yeah, BASS! -Cass

Yeah, and NECTAR! -Pinky

hahahaha.

create your own path.

create your own happy place.

i'm on the road to happiness.

i'm riding smoothly on the 

peace train.

what I'm traveling on.

Beauty of Life -old

"You know, if everybody married someone from a different race, then in one generation there would be no more prejudice."

THESE FACTS ACTUALLY HAPPENED A MONTH AGO.. just had this saved as a draft and never posted :)

Yesterday was a beautiful day, I woke up and hung out with 2 awesome dudes on my couch, Will Brown and Justin True. They are both cute boys and I like em a lot :). Then I woke up my little sleeping beauty bebra, Gini, and we went to Lacy's mom's house and ate Bread & Co. and bebra'd and chit chatted. 

I've had so much fun with my friends lately, there have been times, recently, where I have just been all around very upset with my friends and feeling like we have lost our connections as we've moved on and grown up. But this past week/weekend was beautiful. I love spending time with my friends. and tonight I get to spend time with my family :) 

I was bored all day at work and I found this cool website with all these neat photographs and paintings and such. I really want to have a cool photoshoot one day. If anyone is a photography major or has a cool camera and wants to take some cool artsy pictures holla at me because I think it'd be really fun! some like this..

                    

I get lost in the night so high I don't wanna come down

in the dark of the night I can hear you 
calling my name.
with the hardest of hearts still 
feel full of pain.
so I drink and I smoke and I ask you 
if your ever around,
even though it was me who 
drove us right in the ground.
 see the time we shared, 
  it was special to me,
 but all the while, 
  I was dreaming of Revelry.


ahh november, 

  the month of thanks, giving, family, friends, food, love, awareness, and turkey!

I love November, because it means it's almost THANKSGIVING and when it's almost Thanksgiving, that means it's almost CHRISTMAS, and when it's almost Christmas, it's almost NEW YEARS,  and when it's almost New Years, it's almost my BIRTHDAY!! & my BIRTHDAY means FINALLY being 21, VEGAS, and partying!! 

HAPPY VETERANS DAY 

to all the Veterans! sending love, happiness and thanks your way today!

I experienced my first panic attack on Monday night.. I was home alone and it came out of no where! It was scary because I've never had one before, I was alone and it was an intense experience which I hope I never experience again! & today is the first day I feel almost 100% better! I hope my tummy stops hurting & I feel AMAZING by tomorrow for...

THRILLA IN NASHVILLA!!!

can't wait for this weekend, hope I'm feeling better!

MUCH LOVE.

 

BIG GIGANTIC/ANA SIA

Presenting...

White Noise/Ana Sia/Big Gigantic @ Exit/In November 3, 2010! 

Last night was CRAZY insane! Exit/In has grown on me a tad bit since last year.. The dude who walks around looking for people to kick out is just so stupid. He needs to get a new job because his job must suck. Started off the night with some Margaronas @ Las Palmas with Gini & Punkin then Lacy & Lauren came & met us later :) Then we went to our house and drank some more then Tony picked us up and we went to Exit/In. Everyone was wasted & it was  soooo much fun, from what I can remember. I've never seen Ana Sia before and I very much enjoyed watching her play & she has some sick beats, I like her style a lot! & Big G killed it, as always! I would say last night was an overall success.

peace.love-

It's gonna be a good day...

& all my homies gonna ride today.

Today has been a pretty good day so far! Had an amazing night sleep last night, and started the day off right with an orange fanta and some cigarettes on the drive in. Had a History 2020 test, and some starbucks. & now I'm sitting in History of American Popular Music, so boring. But now I have time to write!

Halloween was overall a very successful night! Missed out on Dark Star Orchestra, due to Gini not being off work and I had to have my Cruella DeVille with me! So, Honnah, Justin, Alex and their friend, Colby and I just drank and bebra'd at our house until 11ish then went straight to This is Art & Zoogma, which was sickkk. Zoogma brought it hard & so did Art! Mark Gee put on a great show and THANK YOU to everyone who came out and supported live music! I didn't see that many amazing costumes, my favorites were: 

 1. Honnah's JWow. It was hilarious! I gave her a spray tan, super dark! & she got her nails done, french with black tips and a little pink. She had big hoop earrings, a leopard skank dress, bronzer!!, and she just looked awesome. Best JWow for sure!

 2. Cass & Gini's Cruella & Dalamation. We were definitely the cutest ones there! Everyone loved my dalmatian costume, little ears and a tail! & I made an awesome sweatshirt and Gini had the long cigarette filter, the red gloves, the dress. We looked so cute :)

 3. Erynn's Bird. Erynn & I went to Michael's and she bought some feathers and glitter and we made the most amazing wings ever! They were feathery and colorful and sparkly! & the best part is, we get to reuse the wings! They will be awesome for festivals!

 4. Random Girl's Peacock. I saw this girl with this awesome peacock feathered wings and she had a peacock feathered dress on. She looked really good! I thought she made them at first, but then I saw a picture of another girl wearing the same ones, but they were still awesome!

 5. I have to give Mark Gee recognition. His Edward Scissorhands was great. I don't really know what Edward Scissorhands is, but I looked up a picture and it looked pretty good! 

Those were all the costumes that came to mind, I wish I had pictures but my camera data cord is on the way! I can't wait to get my new jacket, camera data cord so I can FINALLY upload my pictures, and a memory card! woo! 

I've got some things to figure out soon. I just don't understand how someone can give so much and not expect anything in return, I guess Love Conquers All. I wish I could say the same for myself, and I wish I could be ready to let love takeover. But, I'm too weak and too selfish to fully commit to the person who makes me the happiest girl in the world. But you can't ignore your feelings, so I've got some things to think about!

peace.love.

life isn't about finding yourself,

  it's about creating yourself.

and I quote...

 if it's not mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of time.

  there are too many mediocre things in life- 

  love should not be one of them.

anyone can be passionate,

  it takes real lovers to be silly. 

it is a risk to love.

what if it doesn't work out?

ah, but what if it does. 

            -Peter McWilliams

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure.

I make mistakes, I'm out of control..

but if you can't handle me at my worst, 

you don't deserve me at my best. -Marilyn Monroe 

"I have so many words, but I have no courage."

 

 

 

<<I love you
<<but I don't know what to do.

 Great advice,

If it was only that simple...

xo.

WHAT's On YOUr MINd>?

T

[pictures] of things on

my mind.

actions speak louder than words>>make somebody else's day today.
peace.love.