...and unlike Death Cab for Cutie, i feel totally different.....
wow. 2012 was one of the most eventful years I've had so far. so many ups and downs; so many lessons learned; some goodbyes to old friends; lots of new friends; heartbreak & happiest my heart has been in a long time; some slaps in the face (literally & figuratively); adventures; mistakes that have made me stronger...
thinking back on 2012... a lot of things happened very fast.
on this life that we call home, the years go fast & the days go so slow.....
Modest Mouse
bringing in the 2012 was quite possibly the second worse night/morning of my year (little did i know, i was going to have only one more day that was as terrifying & horrible as this one & i'm thankful for that). it got a lot better when i traveled to Asheville with Christina to meet Elena & Allison. in March, i had the second (and the worst) day of my LIFE. luckily... it made me stronger, i learned so much, and i never will have an experience like that again. luckily.... i have the best friends in the world who showed how much they love and care about me. (((everything happens for a reason))) after all that, i had one of the best nights i had had in such a long time. got a hotel room & had a hotel party. also, this night i went home with someone very unexpectedly which turned into a special kind of connection. and i am very grateful for that. as summer approached, i knew it was going to be one of the best summers i've ever had. i travelled around attending festivals (some better than others), going to the beach on a girls trip, hanging out with friends, going to shows, relaxing, and enjoying summertime.
i am so thankful for this new year. my new years resolution is to open up more to the people i love. when we open up to each other, we invite people to understand us, and let them know we want to understand them. it's hard for me, personally, to break down barriers of judgement & fear; but, i feel like if i do break down those barriers, i would feel more connected and safe and supported. from what i've learned in relationships, intimacy doesn't happen spontaneously; it's something we have to create by choosing to be authentic. after someone hurts me, it's so hard for me to put myself back out there (because of being heartbroken or rejected again). i want to try & release all my unspoken pain, my resentment, my fear of being heartbroken or rejected, and i want to allow myself to feel my full range of emotions... so i can be liberated & free & open to love. my unexpressed painful emotions i've experienced (and still am experiencing) in 2012 that were a result of other peoples actions have had a powerful transformation of resentment on me. i want to release those in a healthy way. so i'm starting over.
i'm trying to make meaningful changes that need to happen so i can release my fears & limiting thoughts & beliefs, and i have to be willing to believe in positivity- i don't need to beat myself up.
on another note....
i had the BEST new years this year!!! i had my midnight kiss;)
also... i had THE. BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER!!!!!!!!
i am so thankful for my friends & taking care of me on my birthday & making sure it was the best birthday i've ever had. i really had the best birthday i've ever had. i love my friends so much.
i'm trying to update this more often like i used to... the blogs that i did a couple years ago have some great pictures, quotes, lyrics, etc. on them if you're interested:)
CHEERS TO NEW BEGINNINGS!
xoxo. cass
